You’re Beautiful…And human….As Always…♥️💗♥️

Pretty ugly,,,

I’m very ugly

So don’t try to convince me that

I’am a very beautiful person

Because at the end of the day

I hate myself in every single way

And I’m not going to lie to myself saying

There is beauty inside of me that matters

So rest assured I will remind myself

That I’m a worthless terrible person

And nothing you will say will make me believe

I still deserve love

Because no matter what

I’am not good enough to be loved

And I am in no position to believe that

Beauty does exist within me

Because whenever i look in the mirror

I always think

Am I as ugly as people say….

(Now read bottom up) 💔

xx 😘 💗..

Life….🌸..

Life is what we make it..so that’s what they say, but is it the life that we created…for ourselves,

Absolutely not.. did we ask for a mental health illness, eating disorders, panic attacks, bipolar, anxiety, depression, ptsd, stress..struggle..self harm, suicidal thoughts and feelings…💔💔😢..

Our life is sometimes damaged…based on what we have been through..what we have witnessed.. from others..and the people that have deeply hurt us…or something that’s been a traumatic event and caused complete tumult , like a bereavement of a relative.. or friend…😞.

Listen peep’s…. it’s so hard to try and be happy, struggling in our lives…but when we can find some sort of positivity ..

A very true saying…💔..

In my life I’ve been through a lot..of being bullied, being hurt, feeling unhappy…lonely, and losing a parent as a child at the age of 9 yrs old….which was the start of early depression in my childhood…being bullied by my elder siblings..

But I needed to get the help that I needed.. 🙏🏻

And I thank the lord of guiding me to try to believe in myself…💗😊✌🏼

Encouragement is the key to help others..like myself, happiness is truly important to your life…be yourself…don’t let anybody tell you otherwise, no matter what illness!!! you are beautiful…you sparkle just like anyone else in the world…maybe you don’t feel that way at the moment some of you..but time will slowly heal a 💔 xx

HEY YOU!!!
AND YES I’M TALKING TO YOU…😉

My life is now the key to my happiness..😜 sometimes I do have setbacks.. but I can slowly mend..and think positive again…

I love the nature, and creativity..going hiking 🥾😀 mountain streams… animals.. abundance.. flowers 💐 writing poetry…of inspiration..🥰 this is all going to happen for me…It may take some time.. but it will..😘.

The heart of nature and life…😙

I know it may feel Impossible to meet the expectations and demands of life, at a time, when your heart is laid to waste, You know don’t let anyone rush you through the pain, there’s a balance of healing and joy and brokenness, and you have to move through both to make your rough edges smooth again, you have to wade through the thick waters to heal your broken pieces, and it will happen gradually, steadily, sometimes with set backs, but you’ll slowly mend..♥️

Don’t give up on your life…try and give yourself happiness..🌹 xx

My Inspirational Poetry For A New Year Ahead 💗

Hello darling’s 🌸😊

An amazing things happens when you get honestwith yourself and start doing what you love, what makes you happy.

You stop wishing for the weekend , you stop merely looking for special events…..you begin to live in each moment, and you start feeling like a human being..you just ride the wave that is life..

With this feeling of contentment and joy..you move fluidly, steadily, calm, and grateful .

A vail is lifted, and a whole new perspective is born….😘

xx…

My Inspirational poetry for mental health…💔..

Hi my lovelies 🙂.

When I was in a rehab centre last year…I had written a lot of poetry…which was heartbreaking..and I would now like to share it with you all..and try and release a sense of relief from pain and the sadness that I once felt..💔.

I want to share this, as this will show how your definitely not alone in this process..✌🏼 and I’m with you every step of the way 100%..♥️

Lately I haven’t been feeling well and I’m sorry if I don’t smile as much I’m sorry if the words hurt a bit more

I’m sorry if you don’t like how I do things and I’m sorry if instead of hurting myselfthe way I used to..

I’m hurting you instead, it’s hard to scream without my voice, now I can’t cry for help, now I have to wait for someone to see me trying, I’m sorry…..

In a sudden twisted inward I’am lurched into an altered consciousness, of palpitating silent fear…fighting invisible strangling fingers, of irrational thought..

Neutrons are playing pinball in my head as someone else is looking out through my eyes at the people around me, who are all fine and well breathing normal air…

My heart is desperately afraid it runs and runs away so hard from a threat that exists, only in my mind but I’am distorted by panic, and my breathing betrays..my mind is clamouring wearily at me, to relax, get a grip there is no cause for such extreme sensitivity, it is only my own self consciousness nothing is really wrong…

Social Anxiety…….

Yes I’m positive, stomach churnsacid burns that’s just to visit friends, my heart needs interaction but just wants the night to end…

Anxiety….💔

I’am always overwhelmed, by that feeling where your heart won’t slow down and your mind is freaking you out, and your palms are sweaty….

And I can’t help but feel like I did something wrong constantly,

I’m overwhelmed by anxiety and I can’t stop shaking and there’s no way to stop it, and I can’t stop thinking about how It would be.

If it just stopped

If it just stopped…..

When I’m upset…

I shut myself down, I have no motivationfor anything I tell myself that nobody cares… even though I know some do..

I think about all of the negative things, I could possibly think of..I give myself all the pain thinking I deserve it I’m not sure why I do that, but that’s just how I’am…

Take care…✌🏼♥️..xx

Anorexia Nervosa, Anxiety And Depression, Isolation,…Saying Goodbye…😢💔

Hi, peeps…🙂

Feeling a little overwhelmed again..as I went to see a counsellor today…and I must admit I let out some of the anger and bitterness from my childhood past….😢 I felt a sense of release at last somehow..but I’m getting there slowly…

This is a hidden story, that remained closed, a healing heartbreak of illness…and hurtful memories….💔

My mental health illnesses, of depression and anxiety… anorexia nervosa, isolation, was a huge struggle to fight…having grasps of healing to try a restore my soul..I found it really difficult along the way and I’ve finally adjusted ♥️..

My story will hopefully guide others in the process….of healing and restoring their mental health…and wellbeing..🙂.


My quote I’ve found…..helped me..

“Did you really want to die?”
“No one commits suicide because they want to die.”
“Then why do they do it?”
“Because they want to stop the pain.

As we struggle we can become more stronger..more open with our lives…when coping with depression and anxiety…it can bring on all sorts of emotions..and mixed feelings of anger and sadness…😞 when I had suicidal thoughts and experiences..especially with self harm… I did my best to hide my scars away from others…until one day my mother..noticed the bad scaring when I was ready for taking a bath 🛀 and became that upset she got me some help…even though at first I refused and became very emotional and angry 💔.

My life quote…that I shared at the time that left my family in despair…😢.

😢😢

But now I could never do it….speaking to someone, extremely helped..don’t get me wrong I always become frightened of going into relapse…but I do try to keep myself busy…💔

There Is always a positive outlook…my poetry..and inspiration…as some people know on here, I’m a trained listening volunteer at samaritans…that also keeps me more grounded to help others…♥️ and I’m always here to offer support to anyone who is struggling, out there!!! you are not alone..✌🏼🌹

“The loneliest people are the kindest…

“The saddest people smile the brightest…

“The most damaged people are the wisest…

“All because they do not wish to see anyone else…suffer the way they do..

Counselling is helping me a great deal..of not feeling so overwhelmed..and not feeling the risk of self harm and suicidal thoughts..because we all deserve to be here..🌹..I definitely understand a person when they have suffered physically and mentally..like I had in my past life and I’m saying goodbye to it all 💗💋I’m letting go..

I’m setting out to do what I was going to do…lead an outgoing life out in nature 🐬..my fundraising events..and charities, 😘…and of course my samaritan work 😊…

And I want to thank someone… on wordpress nikki I thank you so much… for that beautiful post, of no matter what we go through in life..each day is a gift 💝 ..and I truly appreciate that..t.y 😘.

Take care everyone…♥️♥️..

Remember you all deserve to be on this earth..😊😘

Xx

We Were Born To Be Brave…♥️😘

We’re Beautiful In Our Way..Cause God Makes No Mistakes…We’re On The Right Track..Baby We We’re Born To Be Brave…♥️♥️.

“There’s nothing wrong with loving who you are”🌹
“Cause he made us perfect, babe”
“So hold your head up all of you, and you’ll go far,
Listen to me when I say” ♥️♥️

We’re Beautiful In Our Way..Cause God Makes No Mistakes…We’re On The Right Track..Baby We We’re Born To Be Brave…♥️♥️.

The song “born this way” by lady gaga..showed myself.. that I’am who I’am..😘😄..

And we are not going to change for nobody…hold your head… up this is your time to shine..😊..

I’ve changed the lyrics a little…as I believe we have beautiful souls….so please try and stay happy and positive because we we’re born this way…and we were definitely born to be brave…🥰

Take care..cheerio. xx

The Forgiving Journey……♥️

Hello everyone!!! 🙂

Hope you are all well…

Forgiveness is difficult for most people. Forgiveness is the process of releasing someone from the debt or responsibility for hurtful feelings received as the result of an offense or wrongdoing. The process takes time; it’s not just saying, “I forgive”.Is there someone you need to forgive? Have you been experiencing feelings of betrayal, bitterness, resentment, anger, insult, humiliation, dislike, disappointment, frustration, irritation, hurt, or pain?

Did anyone come to mind? Then you might need to forgive.The Journey to Forgiveness is the trip you take in which you learn to heal from the hurtful feelings inflicted upon you by others whether they meant it or not. This book takes you on this journey, allowing you to rid yourself of harmful baggage and behaviors; take down walls of self-defense; discover the secrets of forgiveness; develop forgiveness within; and finally use the proper approach to heal conflicts.Beginning this journey requires one thing…a willingness to forgive.

As you journey, you will recognize that forgiveness becomes possible as you acquire the use of mercy and realize how much you yourself have been forgiven.Finally, you will arrive as a ‘Peacemaker’ and no longer feel the negative effects of unforgiveness. I challenge you to take the journey.

Forgiveness is at the core of healing. When you forgive, it allows your being and heart to heal and it opens the door to physical healing.

Forgiving is the process of healing…..If you are finding it hard to forgive you may want to undergo a deeper process, to help you release, anger, hurt, sadness, pain, and the blame that you’ve been holding in for a long time.. like myself .😞

This is what I used from a quote…and it’s so true!!!

Remember, you must truly let yourself forgive whatever has happened in the past. If you hold onto the blame or betrayal, forgiveness is nothing but a lip service.

It’s just words…..this is what I kept telling myself over and over…😘

You need to release all that blame and the hurt. Let it out, even say it out loud: ‘I forgive this.’

Forgiveness is only real if you let go of the whole consciousness. Then, the body can commence healing.

Do you have relationships in your life where you still may be holding on to that need to punish them for something they’ve done? Do you feel that with yourself? 

If so, from this moment on try and let go. Offer real, true forgiveness. Bring them into your soul’s campfire and empty out all of the unspoken words you may be keeping inside. You are not excusing their actions; instead, you are lifting the burden from your own heart.

Forgive yourself, forgive others, forgive life itself and move forward with a newfound sense of completion and wholeness.

Forgive others, not because they deserve your forgiveness….but because you deserve peace..✌🏼😘♥️

When I was going through hard times of forgiveness…especially through my past childhood with depression and experiences.. of being bullied.. which still bothers me at times!!! 🥺..

It had a very difficult impact of my life.. because I was even bullied by my two older siblings..aswell which was extremely difficult…it took me a long time to forgive them…and I do let it hurt me sometimes….but I forgave them and let go…of all of that hurt, anger, pain, by looking forward to my life of happiness…and excited of the new experiences…that’s coming my way…as now that it’s a new year…😘😘.

Trust me guys!!! Forgiveness can be a very hard journey..I know definitely…but if you let god know of how you feel…he’ll truly heal your soul and you will live the best in life…🥰.

Remember…heal, love, trust,!! M.A.D….we got this…♥️

Love ya all…♥️✌🏼😁…

Cheerio 👋 xx

A Letter To My Mental Illness…💔..

Hello my lovelies…🙂

Mental health and mental illnesses are often seen as a taboo topic, something people are too afraid to talk about. It is my hope that one day we will live in a world free of stigma. In what is only a small step toward that goal, I am opening up about something I’ve always worked so hard to hide — my own struggle with mental illness.

To my Mental Illness,

For a long time, I refused to accept your existence, but I’ve recently discovered that doing so is pointless and exhausting. You are a part of me. Perhaps not my favorite part, but a part nonetheless — the same as my heart, my lungs and my eyes.

I owe some of my darkest moments to you: nights I’ve spent crying myself to sleep; friends and family, people I love, whom I’ve hurt unnecessarily; the crippling fear of not being good enough, of never measuring up to my own ridiculous standards; the little voice in the back of my head constantly whispering that I needed to be better, stronger, smarter, prettier. There were times you broke me down to nothing, and I let you again and again.

I guess I want to say thank you for giving me the opportunity of every issue… I’ve ever dealt with throughout my life…anorexia nervosa, social anxiety, general anxiety, depression, negativity, overthinking, mixed emotions, loneliness, low self esteem…bulimia..self harm, and suicidal thoughts…

So I shoved you in a dark corner and tried to forget. It never made sense to me how someone with so much, who lived such a full life, could feel the things that I did. The emptiness, the hollow void in the pit of my stomach that just ached for something more. Happy, positive people just don’t get depressed. That’s what I used to tell myself.

But that’s exactly what I was: depressed and anxious. I used to think that giving you a name, a label, gave you power. Depression and anxiety became two big scary words for how I was feeling.

Now I realize that the power lies within me. I have the power to let you rule my life or to take back control into my own hands. I won’t let you define me. Not anymore. I am not depressed; I have depression. I am not anxious; I have anxiety. I own you, not the other way around.

As dark as some days have been, that darkness only allows me to better appreciate the light — weeks spent traveling the world seeing unforgettable sights; nights spent at concerts, surrounded by hundreds of strangers, feeling connected by the beat of the same song; days spent laughing with family and friends, a love so deep it consumes me; accomplishments that fill me with a sense of pride; the day I went to college and got a diploma in mental health…I had poured my heart and soul into. You, my mental illness, have taken so much from me, but you can never take my sense of hope. You will never diminish my belief that tomorrow can and will be better than today. Even when dealing with you seems like an uphill battle, it is one I am determined to win.

I used to feel shame of the idea of talking about you as if admitting your existence made me weak or less of a person. If anything, you make me stronger. Knowing that you can climb your way back up from rock bottom gives you a sense of self-worth like nothing else can. For all the pain you’ve caused me, you are my greatest source of strength.

Most people see mental illness as something negative. These people view you as causing some sort of detriment to me and my well-being. On some level, these people may be right about you. Maybe you do bring me down sometimes. Maybe I do let you win more than I should. But, amid all that swirling negativity, I am more determined than ever to turn you into a positive. Because at the end of the day, this is my life, not yours. If you’ve taught me anything, it’s that I can overcome more than I think.

For that, again I thank you.

Yours Sincerely,
Me…

…Please speak to someone…don’t be afraid…😘😘..together, we’ll beat mental illness..✌🏼.

The Creation Of Art 🖼…And Travelling…That Is Good For Our Mental Health….♥️✊🏻👊🏻..

Hiya…my dearest friends 😜..

I’m super happy as my mood as been lifted a little….😉…

I’ve decided to travel to snowdon in august to join a wonderful team …for the most charitable event..😊.

I didn’t think that I could accept the fact that I could do it… I was going to drop out at last minute, but I must have faith in myself…right guys..😄 and thanks for the encouragement from my friend…colleen who has made me realise how many lives I could save…from doing this charitable event..🥰….

🤞🏻

Hopefully I’ll be fundraising…before I can complete the challenge….so it’s going to be a long couple of months..to get it all under way….but I’m still hoping to achieve it..😍.

On doing this challenge….I’m going to be strong and succeed without failing.🤞🏻I got this…😁

On my creations….art as always been a great hobby of mine…I used to draw favourite characters of mine….and in the middle of the year I’m hoping to go to art school 🏫 at the midland art centre…in birmingham…and learn something that’s more creative to me..and take a break from working…to relax and meet amazing people…!!!!

This as really helped my mental health….as I’ve been trying to put all this together..for myself and my happiness..😊 I do become very upset easily..because I always think I can’t put one step in front of the other….but I can…It’s just that sometimes I can tend to be a lazy bum…😴🤣…..lol..

But also I want to thank a person who as also….encouraged me to continue….where we can do anything…and go anywhere in the world…you want to and just love it..no matter what, so thank you so much, reading your post as given me a purpose in my life…😊

Hopefully this as lifted..my spirits..and as kept me from being so overwhelmed..as I have been over the last few days..😘 welcome to a new year…I’m lifting my spirits up for you guys too..we all have a purpose…😉…

Anyway take care..my lovelies…I’m going to take a few days rest now…but remember..as my favourite band of tears for fears..says..I believe in love power 🌻❤️.

Cheerio…and be strong 😁….