Hi, my beautiful sparkles….✨✨
I have written countless letters to my friends such as my demanding depression, and my agonizing anxieties and eating disorders….Only now, I’m coming to the realization I have neglected writing to you over the course of my life.
You were always hiding behind every pessimistic thought, like a flashlight in a dark room, flickering because your batteries are running out too quickly.
You came to me in unexpected waves of joy. Whether you took the shape of a sunset or a human being, you always seemed to make me put down my pen so I don’t have to write to my negative friends anymore…..
I found you at the times I needed you the most. On the day my baby sister was born, you stood behind me with your hand on my shoulder, whispering sweet thoughts to me about how lovely she will be. I felt you were cheering for me…on finding profound success, promising this is just the start of a new life in which I’ll be seeing more of you….and I have to say deep down it actually did come true….💗
You once took the shape of the ocean, so vast and immeasurable. As I stood on your shore and felt your waves brush up under my feet, you comforted me each time with the promise that all my problems are incomparable to the beauties in life. The beauties in life being all the forms in which you, Happiness, can take.
At times you came knocking on my door, demanding me to open up my arms for you, but I refused. No matter how many warnings you gave to me about how horrible it is to let my friends in, I still felt naive and allowed them to intoxicate my thoughts.
My anxiety hesitatingly asked me: “Don’t you realize everyone is waiting to watch you fail?“
But you, my dear Happiness, did not ask. You told. You promised. You told me that I am worth all the space I occupy. You told me I am able to move onto greater things in life. You promised me that despite the fact that things change, change can be growth, and from growth comes healing…..
Now I live my life trying to find you in everything. I walk in the city and find you in the eyes of two lovers holding hands on the sidewalk. I find you in the laughter that is so rare, it causes one’s stomach to hurt. I find you in upbeat music. In sublime and unique art….and travelling around nature 🐬 In foods that tickle my taste buds. I find you taking the form of my best friend, always giving me advice and allowing me to show my true colors. I try to find you in times that I feel like the world is crashing down on me, even if I don’t find you right away, you always seem to show up eventually…..
Happiness, just know I am always searching for you. I hope you’re searching for me too.
Sincerely, a very happy person….😄💋 xx