Why I Blog…..My Anxiety And Depression Experiences..And Guidance For Others…🌹

We blog to share our experiences here for someone who understands…

Our mental health sets on our own feelings …🌸

No matter how forward we try and go, we try and find some peace but sometimes that’s not the case…✌🏼

My depression…💔

I give you the tools and techniques you need to feel calmer and more in control

You had it once, now it’s gone
Like a knot it’s been undone
Was once so tight, now so slack
Happy times you wish you could have back
You sit a home, and feel so lonely
It’ll be great if that was all, if only…
Zombie on the outside, the living dead
But so many questions floating around your head
Confusions rains down, it pours
Pandora’s Box, You’ve opened the doors
No sign of anyone who can help
No sense of feelings or of yourself
Where You can find the answers
Who are you? What are you?
Are you a dream? Or are you the dreamer?
Are you a thought? Or a complex computer,
How do your thoughts start? What makes them end?
What makes you do this? What makes you do that?
I know a times you can overanalyze, You can’t help it
Thinking and gazing into space, as you sit
Why can’t you accept the wisdom of those around
Not letting yourself accept the answers You’ve found
You want to free yourself from your mind
And not just to pretend
Everything’s okay everything’s fine
You want to be NORMAL… When it’s going to end….

My Anxiety.. And Finding Calmness…

You have a good life, a life that many people would be happy to have. You’re surrounded by supportive friends and family and to the outside world you have it all. 

But.. On the inside you’re struggling: anxiety, worries, stress, overwhelm. Perhaps it’s a lack of confidence and self belief with negative thoughts wiring around your head. You might be feeling it in your body, a sense of being of being on edge, disturbed sleep with moods that change with the weather. 

Maybe you know why you feel like this, something unresolved from the past or perhaps there’s no clear reason.  Either way Its getting you down and stopping you enjoying your life. You’re in a vicious cycle of one step forward two steps back. Just when you think things are getting better they creep up on you again.

You’ve already tried talking to friends, medication and self help and whilst they helped for a while you need a more longer lasting solution.

Why do we blog…is to share these darkest deepest thoughts..💔 of unhappiness…anxiety, depression, anger, sadness…abandonment..

My mental health has relapses…😕 at times..

Especially with depression and my eating disorder…of being petrified of it returning 💔

My eating disorder…💔😢

I hate you because you’re taking over me,
but I love you ’cause you’re making me the girl I want to be.
Why do I love you when all you do is put me down?
Making me starve ’till I fit into the smallest gown.
With the loss of each pound I’m closer to my goal,
with your help I will make this broken girl whole.
Filled with fear at every bite I take,
my plan will be ruined with just a bite of that cake.
Counting calories and fearing how much I weigh,
I am beginning to learn that you are here to stay.
My reflection has become something I fear,
I dread the time when I will look into that mirror.
The pains in my stomach seem to never go away,
It grumbles with hunger while in bed I lay.
Every little bit of food I take in,
Must come back up to make me thin.
If I disobey anything you tell me to do,
If I really swallow the food I chew.
I must stick my finger down my throat once again,
and all the food must come up despite the pain.
You have become my only true friend;
I fear the day our relationship must end.
But I know that you are here for a while,
so I hide our friendship behind a smile.
Oh so help me to become beautiful and strong,
I know that it is with you that I belong. 💔

Sharing my thoughts with you as given me all what I want to do…help others and make people happy.. because you all deserve..happiness and 💓…my experiences above, was when I was in a rehab centre..for two months last year..💔..😘

Suicidal tendencies 😢…

Days of endless struggle.
More hopeful pills today,
Trying to appear “normal”
In some sort of way.

It seems that the struggle
Is always here with me,
And I wouldn’t be here now
If guilt would leave me be.

I know there’s been many
Who’ve had it worse than I,
But that doesn’t always mean
That I wouldn’t say good-bye.

People say I have a lot going for me.
I’m sorry, but I just can’t see.
I can’t see because my worst enemy
Is not my life but inside of me.

Always on a roller coaster,
Not much consistency.
I’m nothing if I’m not up or down.
I’m nothing if just “me.”

Very little energy,
Wanting to stay in bed,
Wishing to be enthusiastic
Instead of feeling like I’m made of lead.

Wanting to be excited,
Wanting to care for more,
But when nothing makes sense,
It’s hard to focus on the poor.

Cluttered mind, cluttered thinking.
It’s hard to keep in touch
With what is happening around me
And not to worry too much.

I feel that everybody is better than me
And that I can’t do anything right.
This is how I’ve felt my whole dang life;
It didn’t just start last night.

No confidence, no self-esteem.
Everybody else is right.
To speak my mind is to be a fool,
So I just try to “sit tight.”

Any one of these problems
Would be a heavy vice,
But when you have them ALL
Living seems like a roll of the dice.

xx..

2 thoughts on “Why I Blog…..My Anxiety And Depression Experiences..And Guidance For Others…🌹

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