Being Bullied That Led Me To Social Anxiety And Complete Fear And How I Over Come My Dilemma…….

When growing up I had a huge struggle in my school life, I was never in the popular crowds, I was out of their league so I stuck to my own kind, but even those’s tried to hurt me sometimes and I suggested that they were never friends, I was considered myself to be a very slow at school “yes I tried my best in every class” but I was pushed back by bullies….

I started to think of many ways to over come my dilemma, which left me with scars on my soul,… I had started to read on positive outlooks on life growing into adulthood.

A letter that inspired me, Quote:

We Are Beautiful No Matter What They Say Words Can’t Bring Us Down!!!!!

This Inspiring quote, believe’s what you really are, beautiful in all aspects.

When I hid myself away for so long, due to low self-esteem and isolation…. I held a lot of frustration and anger what people had done that hurt me, I never believed in myself or loved myself as a person… Than I started asking myself questions, what’s wrong with me, why me, am I ugly, am I fat, things started to spiral out of control for me I blamed a lot of hurtful people even my elder siblings!!!!! My head teacher at junior school once told my mother I was easy to be picked on.

Well I soon showed him, in senior school that was the hardest time for me, there was a leader of the gang who was always bullying me with her gang of friends, they would beat on me, the teachers did nothing, as I quoted in my first blog of mental health…. But I pushed that much strength in myself to fight back….

One day we were waiting to go into drama class and the leader of the bully gang was calling me a fat ugly bitch [sorry] acting big in front of her mates, until I had the courage to answer her back… and she kept goading me and that’s when I found all my power and punched her on the nose, I realised it was anger building up inside of me, thinking why did I do that it’s not me, I’m not a fighter, it actually scared her to death and she went to the head mistress, and of course she had me in the head office, but coming to my defense her friend turned against her and sided with me that she was bullying me, And I was defending myself… she never said anything after that. When the bullies see that you have power, believe me it makes them weaker……

As I grew into adulthood, and I was working earning my own keep and gaining all my qualifications, working in mental health, I started a new aspect of life, thinking thank god I’m away from the bullies.

I still had a fear and feelings of hurtful comments, due to my behaviours, that’s why over recent years of going through isolation, self harm, and my mental issue’s that had driven out of control, with eating disorders, getting defensive, taking things to heart of peoples comments and always thinking I was weak above all.

There are ways you can over come bullying and your fears… as I did,

Promise yourself to be strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind, look at the sunny side of everything, and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and except only the best, forget the mistakes of the past. And press to the greater achievements of the future, give so much time to the improvement of yourself. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, as long as you are true to the best that is in you….

Cyber bullying, social media, such as instagram, twitter, facebook, can bring down a person’s confidence and low self-esteem, seeing people with beautiful pics and going places that they enjoy, I’m not saying they can’t enjoy themselves but it can have an impact on our mental health with, anxiety and depression, thinking why can’t I do that, why am I so isolated, esp when you want to share your stories with certain people that they can block you…. and that hurts a person when you are not in their league, that actually makes me so angry!!! to be honest because I’m sensitive to them situations, they do have much rights to be on social media as everybody else in fact, this clearly upsets me……. I’m not on any of them social media site’s above, I do love positive sites when you can be able to share positive comments to beautiful people that are going though hard times without being judged…

Looking at achieving my goals, is becoming more out-going. A new job in which I have now a fresh new start…. my achievements, and taking one step forward, having faith in myself, loving myself as a human being, smiling more at strangers no being so afraid, more importantly listening to music, being a samaritan to help others, fundraising,

and most of all enjoying my life to the full… we can say goodbye to bullies my pals!! you are beautiful and strong as ever that is what is most important to me..

Take Care, my lovelies. Peace, love, and above all else happiness.

Cheerio!!! for a while, a new job is waiting :D. Back soon xx