I can’t knock on a door,
Or ask for extra napkins,
I can’t call someone and ask someone how they are,
I can’t raise my hand without the fear of being wrong,
I can’t hang out with new people,
I can’t live my life,
I can get trapped myself,
Getting it off my chest seemed to help relieve some of the pressure…..
Anxiety, there you go again showing up uninvited, how are you? You don’t come around as often as you used to, and I can’t say that’s necessarily a bad thing, Ever since we have met, you’ve been a huge weight on my shoulders that always held me down, making even the smallest things nearly impossible.
You have took some of my memorable moments and ruined them with your presence. You pushed my happiness aside and made yourself the star of the show, you’ve always been selfish like that.
Moments of excitement turn into moments of extreme fear and panic when you and your partner in crime depression come around.You both put me at war against myself for what felt like eternity, taking any self confidence and burying it in doubt and insecurities you made up.
Since you two have stopped showing up regularly, I have become the person I never dreamt I could be because you laugh and tell me there was no chance in hell.
There is no way I would make it in college, there was no way I could ever, ever love myself and that I had no purpose on earth.
There is only a few nice things I want to say to you. Although I hate when you are here, it makes me appreciate when you’re gone. When you leave me, I appreciate the little things that I could not do when you’re around. It makes me find strength and confidence in myself in a whole new way. I also want to thank you, because of the way you and your buddy depression made me feel, I talk about you a lot, so much that I have made friends and have helped people through tough times when you two wouldn’t leave them alone either. I have people and a support system who make sure I’m okay when you come to visit in your own time.
Thank you for breaking me down and tearing me apart, because it made me build myself up and become a fighter.
The Mind And Body You Don’t Have Control Over Me Anymore.
Goodbye anxiety, we are true fighters!!!:D xx
I always tell people to never be ashamed. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and it takes strength to battle your mind every day,
At the beginning of my whole journey, I didn’t know where to begin with my illness, I felt so isolated and although friends and family understood and supported me, I didn’t know anyone who was going though the same situations as me. This is why I’ve started to write my blogs.
I started it not to find others like myself but to help others too. As I started in the beginning to look at different stratergies of how to cope better with my illness and feel comfortable around others and try and help others at looking at how they can relax more with there mental health…….
TRY TO MANAGE YOUR WORRIES.
Now I’ve always have been a big worrier above all else!!! and it can be really hard to stop worrying when we have anxiety. You may have worries you can’t control. Or you might feel like you need to keep worrying because it feels useful- or that bad things might happen if you stop….
LOOK AFTER YOUR PHYSICAL HEALTH.
Try to get enough sleep, Sleep can give you energy to cope with the difficult feelings and experiences.
Walking or running in the fresh air makes you feel better, I find going for a walk is great, even if I can’t go far. I walk around the garden and eat my lunch outside.
Now I look for natural ways to control the panic and anxiety, including meditation, exercise, breathing exercises, mindfulness and diet.
I keep a photo diary of all the things I’ve managed to do! Makes me think “I can do this”. So when I go and sit in a cafe, or go for a walk, I take a pic to record that I’ve done it, and look back when I felt scared…..it encouraged me that maybe I can do something [again] if I’ve done it before,
Certain things that you can enjoy, like mind hiking to support other fellow hikers aswell, as you know, my pals I love nature and the dreams of hiking to the mountain streams :D……..
I know there can be a lot of anger bottled up in our souls, and believe me I know that is awful. anger is a powerful emotion, it’s a normal healthy situation to feel hurting emotions explode when having feelings of anxiety and painful thoughts.
This is a natural response, when I felt extremely anger, due to my past and hurtful thoughts I used to count to ten, that reaction cooled me down, or recognising the anger signs, breathing slowly, more exercise, that can help your angry thoughts, as it did me or looking after yourself that kept me calm.
Or getting creative, I do painting, writing, singing, drawing.
Talking about how I felt “you know” discussing my feelings…….
Us who have suffered anxiety often experience or appear to show anger, it’s because we are feeling fear or perceive threat, and we start responding to the fight response to this.
Anger with anxiety to me is because that we are scared or might be blamed, or hurt as a result…. it’s definitely a healthy response in my own eyes.
My friends, down let your anxiety hurt you!! because that is what this awful illness wants we are stronger than we know peeps,
I will write soon. Happy blogging!!
Take Care, Cheerio :D……. xx