A Happy Vacation :D A Dream Come True Of Travelling,That Could Be Good For Our Mental Health and Well-Being…….

Hello Happy Blogger’s,:] hope all is good….

What as ever been your happiest vacation, good news for me It’s my first time in ages of spending a good vacation away, “you know taking that first step” away from depression, and isolation that I once knew!!

My dream as always been to travel, esp hiking the mountains, and looking at the sea view and enjoying the quiet warm breeze and blue sky. I think of this of being good for my mental health.

My favourite of travelling is meeting new people, exploring and nature above all else, we as people can set ourselves free away from what we feel inside, a guidance of putting a foot in the right direction without us being judged or belittled by others, because as a child growing up I was always convinced that I wouldn’t be successful and look at what I’ve achieved in later life, “see we can do this my pals” don’t let nobody tell you otherwise” we can have as much fun as them and still succeed our goals,

A Vacation Is Good For Our Mental Health!!!


Taking a happy vacation, we can set our minds on freedom, nature in my eyes is the best part of relaxation and enjoying the sights, of beautiful horses, eagles, dolphins, etc also adventuring landscapes of the red sky and fountain streams, this is my happiest vacation of all that could be good for my mental well-being and it can be for you too :]…..

Vacations can also improve our mental health by reducing our depression and anxiety. It can also improve our mood and reduce stress by removing people from the activities and environments that they associate with stress and anxiety.

Vacation Improves Your Mental Health And Well being!!

On my vacation, is most of all hiking :] I just love the relaxation of landscapes, and it’s inspiration,

I do love the warm vacations, and spending time with my family away, relax’s my depression and anxiety, I love the summertime on beaches having the sound of the waves and white crystal sand, I love the quiet sounds of the fresh air to help my mind feel that ease of not overthinking, or feeling stressful situations it’s where no one can harm or discourage you above all else and finding yourself in that moment of time where you feel lost.

Well my friendly peer’s, I know life can appear at times to be absolute crap!! and I totally agree but there as got to be a cure for us all, some do find it hard and difficult to break away and I understand completely, as over these last few months of my life I have found it profoundly difficult myself to succeed, through a lot of issue’s that surfaced but I’m trying to give courage and hope that there maybe a better life out there that we can create because going through these hardest times, I always feel extremely sensitive for people in this situation as loneliness and social anxiety can hurt.

That’s why a happy vacation is for us all, BE HAPPY MY PALS …

Take Care Happy Blogging. xx :D.

Finding Love, Happiness, And, Above All Else,Peace……

The pursuit of Love,Peace and Happiness, can be a very inspirational thing above all else, I can imagine that I’ve had my up and down’s of living with my mental health issue’s like others, but no matter whatever you are going through, we all deserve our inner souls of being happy and peaceful and of course loved.

In this blog: I’m going to create something that seem’s important to many lives. instead of dwelling about certain things that we are trying to avoid and get past as I do myself. Let’s try and look at what makes us happy, and looking at the positive side of us as human beings.

I know sometimes that people find it difficult to find an easy solution to the side of happiness, and love, and above all else peace, Let’s try and look at it differently :]

Who loves a good time, disco’s, party’s, pop bands, concert’s I was born in 1981 and growing up I loved family parties and outings, bands, and film’s, even though at times my childhood was tough, esp in my school days, but there was a little bit of happiness that I can remember, esp with my dad who sadly passed at the age of 42, I was 9 yrs old when that surfaced but I’ll never forget the memories I had with him :]

Peace for me is nature, travelling is a dream of mine, my exciting time is the weekend, seeing certain sites, going to the park, walking, reading, drawing, and writing.

Love, happiness, and Peace, here we go :] My favourite happiness is listening to music: New Kids On The Block, Tears For Fears, Bananarama, Mel And Kim, Kylie And Jason, :] Fleetwood mac, Sonia, Motown Music, Reggae music,… Stevie Nicks. etc

Love for me is fairy tales, creativity, writing poetry, inspiration…….

Come on pals!!! Love, peace, and happiness, is in our souls, :] I know it probably doesn’t seem that way for what we go through,but we can probably turn this into something that is positive.

Why must other people be judged,

Why can’t people like us just be loved,

People that care, people who can share,

This world we live in will soon be turning to dust,

If people can’t come together to love and to trust,

Let’s end all this bitterness and sadness,

So let’s live in a world full of love, peace, and happiness,:]

Love, Happiness, Joy, And Peace…….
Enjoy Yourself……:]

This was my all time favourite song to play growing up, when I was down, [even now] and I do think it can help let our hair down and start living and enjoying ourselves as we all need to do.

Music helped my depression at times, as I’ve said before, dance and sing to your heart’s content :].

This my pals!! is for us as we are all human beings/ love, peace, and above all else happiness, that is what we all deserve in our lives [despite whatever pain we have endured]…..

This is a short blog for now. So my friends, Take Care Cheerio!!! :D..

When We Find That It’s Difficult To Stop OverThinking…..

I do find it hard to shut off my brain at any given moment, I felt exhausted and anxious because of my thoughts and possibly in that moment of time I was probably a chronic overthinker, and unfortunately overthinking for me has become a global epidemic, as we live complicated times that requires so much brainpower and taking my responsibilites out of control such as EMOTIONAL TRAUMA’S and other associated problems in my mind that leave my mind in a state of overdrive.

Signs that were trapped in my mind: Of overthinking situations.

I was trapped in my own mind with regular insomnia, we as overthinkers have major difficultly with sleep pattern. Insomnia had taken hold of me and it seemed in possible to switch off my brain, the thoughts were slowly paralzing me, my mind was constantly racing and I felt to wired to sleep, all my worries from the day kept flooding my mind, and it felt like I couldn’t escape from this mental prison.

Guidance: If this sounds like your overthinking try relaxing your mind

Try doing relaxing activities before bedtime this really helped me to relax my mind.

Meditating, colouring, drawing, writing, reading, or even talking to a loved one.

Doing something that takes your mind off your thoughts and onto something else that allows your creativity and emotions to come to the surface.

EASIER SAID THAN DONE ISN’T IT :/

I extremely found this so difficult at first and was constantly living in fearful situations and If you live in fear of the future in which I did, then you are definitely trapped in your own mind.

I did some research, and I found that this fear causes overthinkers some not all including myself, turn to alcohol and mainly drugs in order to drown their negative thoughts.

Overthinking Ruins Your Mind!! Of Living In Past Thoughts

I started overanalyzing everything and for overthinkers that is the main problem, I needed to control everything,

I wanted to plan out the future, but because I couldn’t predict it, it caused a great deal of my anxiety. I didn’t like dealing with anything That I couldn’t control I had a major fear of the unknown, in which caused me to sit and mull over all the options instead of taking action.

Racing Thoughts!!!

When I found myself over thinking , I tried to bring myself back to the present moment through deep breaths and thinking about something that relax’s me. I tried to think about those thoughts serving me in the present moment, and how this alone should get rid of them, as you’ll find that they do nothing for you but cause great stress.

Fearing of failure is my biggest stress of all, as an overthinker I also had an incessant desire for perfection in everything I did.

I couldn’t accept failure, and I would do everything in my power to avoid it, ironically, this usually involves doing nothing at all, fear paralyzed my overthinking, so instead of risking failure, and I would rather not put myself in a position at all.

Remember: that you are so much more than your mistakes and failures, and also keep in mind that to get anywhere in life, you have to make mistakes. These allow you to grow, learn, and reach new heights.

Don’t Let It Destroy You

I was always making the wrong decision, so I would take a very long time to make a choice, because I didn’t trust myself, I was completely out of touch with intuition, so every decision comes from the brain, and this wasn’t always a good thing. My brain went completely foggy and bogged down that I couldn’t make a clear decision, then that definitely over lead to my overthinking.

Learning to trust your intuition, and go with your gut, if it turns out negatively , at least you’ll have learned from the experience, and have more life lessons under your belt.

I was suffering regular headaches, I was thinking to much. My headaches was a signal to my body that I needed a break, that I needed a lot of rest from my mind, also I needed to pay close attention to my thoughts, that I was thinking the same things over and over.

As a worrier I tended to have negative thought patterns that ran in a loop, I tried to reinforce positive thoughts instead, I spent time trying to breath and focusing on mindfulness, and realising the headaches went away in no time.

Believe it or Believe it not, my overthinking affected my whole body with physical aches and pains which left me feeling exhausted and lethargic.

I was feeling tired regularly, and this called for an action plan on my part. My body wanted to tune in and listen to the signals, and instead of constantly going from one activity to the next and ignoring it’s calls. While fatigue can be caused by doing too much and not taking a rest, my overthinking that also caused exhaustion. I thought about it [as trying not to think too hard about it] I thought about things constantly, over and over, not giving my mind a rest.

Remember: your mind cannot run 24/7 as you will eventually get burnt out.

If we are feeling fatigued, we need to slow down and figure out what our body and mind need from us :]

Don’t Be a Victim Of Overthinking Negative Thoughts!!

I couldn’t even stay in the present moment and enjoy life as it came, and it felt like I became a victim of overthinking . I was thinking to much that caused me to lose focus of the world around me, and I became trapped in my own mind. Becoming bogged down with my thoughts that was removing me from the now, which disrupted my relationships with others.

Remember: to open your mind and heart to the world around you, and that is what I tried to learn and I tried not to get to wrapped up in negative thinking. I only tried to allow thoughts into my brain that served my well-being, and tried to ignore the ones that brought me down,

Life offers you so much beauty and the opportunity for incredible experiences, but you can only appreciate this if you learn to tune out of your brain and into your heart instead.

Also in relationships with others can help to silence those negative thoughts. When I was paying attention to others, I had given myself a break therefore putting the focus on someone else. Learning to truly listen to others, trying to bond with them, and asking them questions about their lives.

We can stop this chronic overthinking problem together by forming communities again, and learning to support and connect with one another.

I started to focus on doing things that made me feel good and encourage me to remain active.

You can start an exercise program, join groups to connect with like-minded people in your community, start eating healthy foods, and having a mindfulness practice, and most importantly, learn to cultivate a positive relationship with yourself. I started to look at my thoughts as tools to help me grow, not as enemies that hindered my progress.

As Anthony hopkins said: We are dying from overthinking. We are slowly killing ourselves by thinking about everything. Think, Think, Think. You can never trust the human mind anyway. “It’s death trap”

3 Techniques to stop overthinking immediately:

1, CONNECT WITH NATURE.

If we don’t live or work in nature, then we need this the most. Taking time to get out in nature, could mean going to a lunch break in a park, or going on a vacation to get away. Anything you can do to strengthen our bond with nature will greatly benefit our minds and stop overthinking immediately.

Getting out in nature I love to do focusing on the the beauty in the trees, a leaf, a waterfall, the sky, and mountains, a lake or whatever I gravitate towards. This will immediately stop your mind. When you allow yourself to do this, you will find that you will think more clearly throughout the day.

2. REPEAT PEACEFUL WORDS TO YOURSELF.

I paid attention to my brain at this very moment… having what kind of thoughts I observe Most likely I noticed that the majority of my thoughts centred around me what someone said that made me angry, or even degrading thoughts about myself.

Don’t feel bad, though with so much negativity around us, maintaining a consistent positive mindset isn’t always easy. However, you can actually counter the negative words and overthinking of peaceful words.

3. MEDITATE.

This is for a good reason, when we meditate, we stop the flow of overthinking and negative thoughts bombarding your consciousness every second, and instead move into space where stillness takes precedence.

My examples: are Peace, Love, Light,. It’s ok. Life is good I’m okay.

Because that is all that really matters in my world, our whole world, Love, Peace and above all else happiness.

Choose Whatever you what in life!! Our choice :]

An Open Letter To My Depression That Led Me to My Binge Eating.

Dear Depression,

I never thought I would say this but I’ve deeply struggled with you, put up with you,been over controlled by you, you’ve sapped me in half of my self confidence of energy of doing things that I used to enjoy and the enjoyment of the things I used to love doing but you’ve also taught me a lot and I do suppose that I should say thank you.

I am tired, tired of fighting with you, and tired of feeling the need to prove myself to you even though we both know my efforts come unnoticed. I do try and accomplish simple tasks, if it were up to you, the work would just keep piling and piling up. My course work would be unfinished that I could fail, tasks would go lower and lower ie such as washing that would continue to be untouched, and lately you have been a huge struggle and an impact of my daily life “What’s one more day of putting off these daily chores?” Remembering when I slept in my bed that I couldn’t get my head off the pillow for a week because you made me believe moving the clothes off my bed that was just too difficult to do. You gave me advice in my head that ‘put it this way at least you won’t have to make your bed of a morning.

It is still hard for me to call you what you are because deep down, I don’t think you enjoy being talked about and you prefer to be silent, and in the darkest depth, because isn’t that where all the scariest things hide? I just wish you would at least own up to the damage that you cause, as I wouldn’t feel that I’m always the one to blame.

MY DEPRESSION THAT LED ME TO BINGE EAT OUT OF CONTROL,

You continued to haunt me by turning to comfort eating that spiralled out of control, and I began to eat compulsively as you probably would say in my mind”keep enjoying and eating the food that is bad for you”

My binge eating,that left me with guilt,shame,disgust,something that was very uncontrollable, that I would hide my emotions and behaviours with food from sneaking snacks,and junk food.

My weight gained and gained piling on the pounds and no one noticed the pain that I was feeling inside of extreme stress and depression. I was telling myself inside “SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME” I’m suffering in silence, I felt ugly, hurt, angered,very frustrated, of what was happening,the feeling of the hurt was bad enough.

But some friends and family would tell me I’ve put on weight “YES I KNOW I WOULD SAY” with anger and upset inside.

“See depression that is what you did to me the more comments, the more hurt that spirals me out of my control the more deeper I would turn to food to hide the pain, plenty of snacks like chocolate, sweets, crisps, rounds and rounds of bread, chips and cake,” It was extremely hard to avoid temptation”

My binge eating led me even more into depression because of having very bad stressful time of isolation, very few little friends, who wasn’t interested of how I was feeling, being extremely lonely almost my entire life with low self esteem issue’s,”yes I would hide my hurt and feelings where I wouldn’t speak about it” but what is wrong with friends being concerned offering me support and I’m here if you want to talk” :/

I would go out for a social get together to try and build my self-confidence of letting my hair down but I felt that everyone was staring at me and my weight that I piled on through depression and severe stressful situations and that was what I was going through at the time of being in a dark place.

Depression you had left me with that angry feeling of despair and very frustrated that I needed to turn to a therapist for help and at the time I struggled with a deep journey that seemed impossible to fix I was almost a size 18 at that point that I just kept on eating and purging to block out the pain of loneliness and a mixed of emotions I was dealing with inside regarding to a past that was haunting me of bullying, feeling ugly, as my low self- esteem led out of control a relative at my work place, said “I may appear extremely bitter in this conversation”:/ but she told me congratulations and I said what for and she said when is it due AND THAT UPSET ME DEEPLY as that mixed my emotions and depression into more of a down wood spiral and piling on the pounds of eating excessively it’s not a easy process of someone feeling this way, but that was the only way I could hide the hurt of that comment.

I tried to deal with it the best that I could but this comment also had taken me another way to losing weight by starving myself “I’m explaining myself of the way I felt at the time”and now I’m turning it the other way around and it still left me extremely depressed where I just wanted it all to end in the process and taking my own life there and then because that one comment can cause damage to a person with low self esteem, depression and stressful situations regardless it taking a different turn. One night I was sitting on the edge of my bed absolutely in floods of tears where I was lost of wanting to get rid of all the hurt and the pain I thought this is it no more binge eating it’s time to say goodbye!!!!!!!!

Depression had taken away all my ability to live and enjoy life that I absolutely craved for a long time as it has taken all my power to ever experience an happy life as I felt terribly disgusted with myself as I kept eating myself into an oblivion emotionally, to again secret snacking, crisps, chocolate, bread x4 a day, where I couldn’t stop :[ but you depression you changed all that by saying “hello anorexia nervosa” a cause of starving myself to death;[.

MY LETTER TO THE LORD AS I WAS DESPERATE FOR GUIDANCE AND FAITH IN GIVING ME THE HELP THAT I NEED.

Dear Lord.

My happiness has been taken away from me,

My ability to live a very happy and bubbly life,

Willpower and strength,

Having the energy, and fulfilment in my life,

Lord my depression has taken control of all of the above, I want to have the life that I see some people living, happy, laughing with friends, families, relationships, dressing up, wearing make up again,

Lord I haven’t eaten for days!! saying the expression in floods of tears, I’ve been very isolated, hurt, angered, through extreme depression, binge eating excessively to the point where it had spiralled out of control, I needed to do this, asking my brain to take the thought of food away, FOOD, FOOD, go away you are ruining my mind today I would suggest to myself, I have had the indulgence in my head [lord] that thin is beauty? I know at the time that was a delusional thought as the lord has now guided me to know that beauty lies within a person, not just about being thin it’s about the person that you are, and the main thing to being healthy but this is what I was facing at the time:[ of complete desperation for help and guidance from above.

The lord had spirited me in so many ways, has I did state in my very first blog : A journey of recovery was a complete success the first time but this is the second time that anorexia nervosa occurred as I did state that this condition can stay with you for a long time so I had to find myself yet again.

My behaviour spiralled out of control with food as I was still dealing with certain issue’s of depression, regarding the past that I had suffered self harm and suicidal thoughts, of still not being happy, at this point I was becoming thinner, and completely having the feel of feeling very hungry, but I kept thinking about my emotions as well, like thinking I’m going to bring back my binge eating habits!!!!!! that won’t stop as it will lead me out of control yet again, this was my mind telling me EAT, GO ON EAT LOADS,.Depression was sending me lower and lower and back into that deep dark place.

“So depression this time you are not going to win”, you are not going to control me or my life,I kept telling myself over and over “I’m the person in control” THE FEELINGS OF ANGER EXPLODE. So that’s when I really had to call for help of going to my gp to be refered to an mental health unit for depression and binge/anorexia disorder and trying to deal and come to term’s of now to control my own mind that I’m not going to over eat, or starve of food due to being controlled of depression, I started to regain my weight to being healthy again with the help of the care team, and my family when I spoke the truth of needing severe help again in which then they were very supportive.

Depression now I have controlled you, I’ve found a stability of gaining my life back to being a healthy one, and the medication has helped me in many ways possible so now I have so many things to look forward too by being happy, loved and making many new friends, going out more often, and experiencing life like I once had before.

SO GOODBYE DEPRESSION YOU CAN NO LONGER HURT MY EMOTIONS ANYMORE X

My Mental Health blog 💔

Mental Health stigma quote:

“You can’t tell just by looking at someone what they are dealing with inside,”

Mental Health quote:

“Never apologize to for their misunderstanding of who they are.”

“I am still me, no matter my mental health.

In this blog I will be telling my own story to try and spread the word about mental health awareness and to help make a difference to other people’s lives.

Over a period of time my mental health has been a huge struggle over the years, as a teenager and an adult through certain issues, to being bullied, bulimia in my teen yrs, low self esteem, to anorexia nervosa, anxiety, stress, depression, and panic attacks.

Now everybody at some point in their lives deserves to be loved and are always in need of a friend to look up to when they are struggling with certain issues, “now I don’t want to baffle on about my life lol :] but as a child I was a slow learner and yes some children are slower at learning than others I was bullied for that very reason.

But growing up into adulthood I was learning to look at different stratergies :

RULE 1:We as people are strong.

RULE 2: We are human no matter how we struggle inside.

RULE 3: We can make it happen and be successful.

Now these stratergies helped my career of being successful, I didn’t know what I decided to do because I was such a slow learner I couldn’t work with children as I couldn’t write things down on paper so first choice in my eyes was to become a carer as it was more practical based and that helped me a lot to learn more in my adult life to answer questions and take part in certain situations in groups which I didn’t fit into at the time of my school days But I thought hang on just because the majority of us are slow learners doesn’t mean that we can’t be successful in later life does it 🙂

But for yrs I have struggled to over come certain obstacles along the way with my mental health ie: trusting people being afraid, isolated, social anxiety, depression, anorexia, low self esteem,

My bullying at school was the hardest struggle I never fitted in with the popular crowds I always got teased of how I looked, and that brought on my low self esteem issue’s. I was always a shy quiet girl I never had an out- going personality I always found it hard to mix with a group of friends they would always use me or play tricks on me, there was a ring leader she would call me names, try and beat on me with her gang of friends,call me fat and that led me to having bulimia in my teen yrs at the age of 12 or 13 it was difficult as the teachers did nothing about it. It also lead to anorexia nervosa in later adult life of thinking of how I’ve always looked. Even my elder siblings made my childhood hurtful name calling, obscene words, I was an embarrassment esp- to my older sister, she would take my cousin shopping everywhere because she was more out-going than I was, she would become spiteful and hateful to me. My elder brother who is an alcoholic and a bully with violence and drugs abuse, was so hurtful and I got bullied badly because he went to the same school as me and everyone knew him for what he was[ esp with drugs] he couldn’t keep his woman beating hands to himself “I’m probably going to sound very scathing and angry here” but I got bullied because he blacked his girlfriend’s sister’s eyes in a nasty argument and I got beaten bad because I was family even though I wasn’t there at the time that it happened so I suffered that because of what he had done!!! he is also very nasty insulting and cruel has he as been through out my entire childhood and adulthood he also set about my mom in a very bad way has I was there at the time that happened which I do admit I do find difficult sometimes to forget but I try and move away from that situation and carry on.

Now I always looked at myself as being a closed book but I needed to open the book to help others who have experienced difficult periods of bullying

I know it maybe difficult for some but we can look at forgiving the past and think of how we can maintain an outgoing life.

I started to figure out how I could be forgiving to my siblings and the people that have hurt me first because it was so important to try and lead a outgoing life of my own “Now I know it’s not everybody’s preference or I don’t know probably it is” bless you but I started going to church and I felt so comfortable when it started talking about forgiveness thinking of how I could stop thinking about the past that lead me to have a further breakdown and most importantly to me was to stay strong and try and heal myself and my past by being forgiving and it has guided me in many ways.

Quote: Show respect even to people who don’t deserve it; not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours.

I’am in charge of how I feel and today I’m choosing happiness.

“Yes this is true saying” the scars from being a victim of bullying may heal over time, but the trauma from the experience may never be forgotten.

Because believe me we are amazing and never forget that if you have experienced any form of bullying, if people have tried to bring you down it only means that you are above them. I know it’s not easy for some as they do tend to struggle as they look for a way out but please don’t let them win we has people who has experienced this by being bullied by someone we can be strong and forgive, that is when happiness comes your way as it did for me by forgiving the past and moving on.

There was not a moment where I thought can I open up about my mental health issue’s until I needed a time to change of the way I felt about my emotions and I did have a difficultly opening up as I bottled everything up inside.

We can open the door and feel free about our mental health issue’s and help others who are struggling.

In term’s of low self esteem everybody isn’t the same of what we feel or how we feel but we deserve love and happiness whether it be different cultures of religion, sexuality, background, and race, and also in people who are different to others.

My anorexia nervosa was an emotional and physical rollercoaster it destroyed my family life and social life basically anything that brought some happiness into my life was taken away by anorexia nervosa because of low self esteem issue’s.

Recovery seemed to be an impossible journey but this treatment was meant to be a turning point to the point where I started to live my life again and catch upon the yrs that I missed to restore my health.

Anorexia had ruined so much besides choosing my career as a carer I had ambitions one was to become an air hostess and travel to different parts of the world [bearing in mind at that point at this stage I was 20 yrs old].

I will state an honest fact that in anorexia’s eyes the first thing is to die? so i started treatment, I was going to be a story of recovery my life was going to begin I was going to be a better person and I’m happy to say that it was a success and that I did succeed.

I’m actually not going to lie, it was not an easy journey and not pretty, tears, anger, frustration, and confusion. It was a very emotional process, but absolutely worth it as everything started to fit into place and it started to make an entrance back into my life, of being happy family get together’s, eating out with friends, loads of laughter, and for the first time it felt like I was getting in my life back on the right track of getting healthy :].

Yes it was the most terrifying journey of my life, but I never lost hope and faith to recover I just kept believing and putting my trust in the care team, my family was also very supportive and never doubted me through every moment as I began to blossom again, I was beginning to feel better and having that experience of getting my life back on track and starting to enjoy life again.

I managed to turn things around by becoming more happy and doing more enjoyable things. In all honesty, the future for me seemed a simple journey so bright after my recovery I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel but i’m not going to lie about this but this awful disease can stay with you for many yrs like it has me but to lead me to doing this and having a purpose is hopefully being able to inspire and help others realise that the journey to recovery may take a long process and there will be many bumps in the road ahead, but it’s totally worth it, and giving up is not an option.

If I have beaten this and made a full recovery from anorexia nervosa that helped me gain my strength back, then so can you because we are strong and you can find a light at the end of the tunnel, I understand that it can be difficult for some struggling out there but please never give up on hope, and faith because your journey will guide you the way to recovery and i’m with you every step of the way :] xx

My Depression and anxiety disorder

My depression and anxiety disorder over the years became quite difficult this is due to being bullied by others plus my siblings in the past that kept me very isolated and I was very afraid of trusting many people due to the past I had lost my father at the tender age of 9 yrs old and I blocked it from my memory that probably took me through depression in my childhood up to adulthood at the age of 19 yrs my anxiety i’ve suffered for yrs plus also going through social anxiety that kept me so isolated and being around other people so I needed to do a lot of work on that and try and gain a life of standing on my own to feet and not being afraid.

First I opened the door on my depression that got very bad due to self harm and I tried to redeem myself and try coming to the term’s of getting better ie, medication, doing different activities even though it was scary. Medication in many ways did help me lift my mood now “yes I know I’m dragging on ” but we who feel this way can find it difficult to adjust but maybe we can heal in term’s of looking at different stratergies to help:

I would write different messages on small pieces of paper and try to keep myself motivated each day by taking one step at a time “no I know it’s not easy for everyone but we can take certain things into account of what we can enjoy.

Now my favourite motivation is dancing around the house 😀 and of course music “i just love that feeling” you know that takes your mind off things when you are feeling very low you can sing away to your hearts content whether it’s rock music, pop bands, classical, whatever takes your fancy “well now I may make you giggle”? but I love music by stevie nicks and fleetwood mac “yes I know not bad for a 38 yr old” to enjoy that music but it relax’s me singing away to a bit of stevie 😀 [she is a honest inspiration of mine].

Stevie Nicks My Favourite Artist :] Wild Heart Album
Bella donna my favourite album :]

Well one day I was singing away to one of her songs [enchanted] in my kitchen with my headphones on and I was dancing and singing away “you know kicking and boucing around singing this song really loud at the top of my lungs [in my dressing gown] ah yeah until I turned around and saw that the builders outside my house was watching me trying attract my attention “now if you are wandering why their were builders outside my house they were doing some installments and their I was in my dressing gown dancing away I was like omg cringe but hey oh :). But i can’t help it that’s what makes my mood happy and it may work for you too :D.

I also love films and going to concerts,relaxing to all different kinds of music, tears for fears, sandi thom, 80’s music, I love to take walks, going shopping, travelling, I do try and stay as busy as possible to keep me away from self harm and depression, which helped keep me more grounded.

I had support off my friends and family that guided me to seek help with depression and anxiety and it’s now encouraged me to help others. YOU ARE NOT ALONE :]

“When I had spoken about my anxiety to someone who was genuinely interested in how I was feeling and they made the effort to understand, it lifted my mood and realised I’m not alone.

Anxiety took me down a difficult path and at the time no one seemed to understand what I was going through and I had no one who had experienced anything like it.

I had a every difficult time to relax and my sleeping pattern was all over the place esp: being at work the next morning. At 4am I started dozing off to sleep and then getting up at 5am to be at work for 7:30am I work in an elderly dementia care home and I have been doing that for over 20yrs and I found it really hard to focus because being a senior carer, the residents come first at all times as they need constant attention as they are being looked after because of their illnesses and I have to say due to my anxiety I’ve found it very challenging and distressing also esp when you are dealing with 33 residents taking medication and administering and going over and over again double checking everything in case you have gone wrong or missed anything and than at that point I would be overthinking issue’s that would spiral my anxiety out of control, sweating, pins and needles, an high heart rate ie palpatations, panic, constantly worrying,

It was a very difficult time where if I was to be challenged I would become defensive due to my past and start to take things personal.

I had a full breakdown at work my manager and deputy manager was very supportive my explanation of telling them that I was suffering from weight loss, anxiety, and depression that was later diagnosed by my gp in which I kept well hidden and then later realised that it was a psychological issue of an mental and emotional state due to my past which lead me to take some time off sick which I needed help from the mht and couselling I faced several issue’s along the way of self harm and suicidal thoughts. I did have the limited support from my fellow peers, so after a couple of weeks I was asked if I was suited for the senior care which I became very overwhelmed but in all fairness I was demoted for a while, so I could feel more comfortable again and stay more focused. So I decided to try all kinds of different strategies and goals to heal myself and here is how I have managed to overcome these issue’s below: by keeping a journal diary.

These were my struggles at first:

1, I was a closed book to feelings.

2, I was a lonely person.

3, I was a very angst person.

4, I had feeling’s of being empty, feeling numb.

5, I had difficulties opening up

6, I had low self esteem.

7, Self harm and suicidal thoughts.

8, Being scared and afraid.

9, Talking about past issue’s ie bullying by siblings and other people.

10, I was isolated scared of mixing with others.

These are my thoughts that I changed to heal myself.

1, Being happy and a bubbly person

2, Trying out new things.

3, Making new friends

4, Having other opportunities new career.

5, Opening up more frequently.

6, Not being scared and afraid.

7, Loving myself as a person that I’am.

8, Start to trust yourself and others.

9, Loving to travel.

10, Laughing more, and smiling more.

Now I know all these seem quite a struggle at first and I’m not saying that it’s easy but you can take one step at a time to adjust yourself think of the things you would you love to do by looking at staying positive instead of looking at the negativity side of things.

Now I love drawing and painting :] and have an interest in pottery classes now this helps me to relax. You can think of the things you would love to do ie meeting people with the same interests, do more activities, be happy with yourself [meditate]

Think no more sorrow, isolation, emptiness, I CAN DO THIS 😀 xx

Staying strong and positive as a person. It took me a long time to open up, particularly at work, as I felt a lot of shame around my condition. To be honest, I still do. However, as soon as I talk to someone who is genuinely interested in how I’m feeling and makes a effort to understand, it lifts my mood and makes me realise I’m not alone. And neither are you XX 😀 XX “I’m with you 100%”

We All Deserve To Be Loved No Matter What Obstacles You Face :] x

The healing process of recovery to mental health.

Recovery can take time and is different for everyone. As well as getting treatment underway, you’ll need to find new ways to manage and live with the changes and challenges of anxiety and/or depression.

While psychological and/or medical treatment can help with your recovery, there are many other ways you can help yourself to get better and stay well.

Stages of recovery.

1, Shock at having to deal with something difficult and scary that you have no prior experience of.

2, Denial or difficulty in accepting having a health problem, particularly one that people find hard to understand.

3, Despair and anger at having to deal with the condition and it’s related difficulties.

4, Acceptance of having a condition and the changes it brings, and accepting how others see you and how you see yourself.

5, Coping by finding new ways to live with and tackle these changes and challenges.

There is ways of recovering by looking at the available support.

There are a range of effective treatments and health professionals and other support people who can help you on the road to recovery. There are also many things you can do to help yourself and stay well. The important thing is finding the right treatments and the right health professionals and support team that works for you.

On getting better I started working my way up the ladder, looking for different types of things that I used to love doing and getting back on the right track I’ve always had hope and faith of helping others because what type of mental illness you have experienced you are not alone in this process as we all deserve happiness, love and joy in our lives, “I know that I’m rambling on lol” but I do have sympathy and I’m very sensitive to these situations as people do tend to have struggles in life that can’t be helped through mental health which is as you know what I have experienced.